Stag Weekend

So, I've been on my second ever stag do. Obviously, not mine, I'm still no closer to any sort of meaningful relationship let alone marriage.

We went to Cardiff along with pretty much every single stag and hen party in the country, I think we made the biggest impression though by dressing up as priests. I got to convert lots of sinners, and had a heated debate with someone who though he was Jesus (I'm sorry, but Jesus did not have a perm mate! right!).

As per normal I completely overdid it, I'm covered in bruises (not just from paintball - which we played earlier in the day), and I seem to have permanently damaged my immune system. Still, it was worth it - pictures can be found here. None of me looking biblical unfortunately...

Dan & Emily

It's been a blast *sniff*. Here are all my pictures - they are not very good I'm afraid.

Strange CDs I have ordered off t'internet

sunn 0))) - "Oracle" LP (gatefold sleeve)

Two brand new exclusive sunn 0))) tracks available officially on vinyl only!

ORAKULUM was originally composed for a live performance collaboration with the New York sculptor Banks Violette at the Maureen Paley Gallery in London, June of 06. Violette created sculptural representation of SUNN O)))s entire backline in cast resin and salt, including amplifier stacks, instruments, effects & accompaniments. In addition, black laquered stage platforms and sound panels were created as a basis for the groups actual backline setup, and a selection of drawings were presented within the context. The result of this performance and collaboration, which was conducted in a sealed gallery space, was intended to generate a feeling of absence, loss and a phantom of what once was.

The A side of this lp: BELUROL PUSZTIT was also recorded at this session. Initially this song was created for the "Jukebox Buddha" compilation as it features the use of the tone generating Buddha Boxes within the track. In the style of sunn 0))) these boxes were run through the sunn backline and recorded at maximum volume which of course yielded maximum results! BELUROL PUSZTIT " also features extra "instrumentation" from Atsuo Mizuno (Boris) on drums and Joe Preston (Earth, Melvins, Thrones) on jackhammer (!!!) !!!!

The 180 gram vinyl is packaged in a thick printed innersleeve and thick cardboard gatefold jacket. Stark, stunning photographs of Banks Violettes' sculptures adorn all sides of the gatefold, innersleeve including a drawing by Banks on the innersleeve! The vinyl version will be the only "official" release of these recordings.

Any cd versions of "Oracle" are limited versions (mostly tour only) and will not be readily available.

The initially pressing of "Oracle" is 7,777 copies (2,000 on clear).

First 1000 orders of clear vinyl will also receive a Oracle poster with their album. Both versions are available via mailorder. As stated above all mailorder customers will receive a free "Oracle" cd (with rare misprinted cover!) with each order. Limit of 1 order of each color per customer. $17.77

(MAILORDER CUSTOMERS WILL RECEIVE A FREE SINGLE CD VERSION OF THE ALBUM!)

That's right, I've ordered a vinyl version of an album which I won't be able to play due to the slight problem of not having a record player, thankfully they give you a CD version too (wtf?)... And it's an album that has a jackhammer (or 'pneumatic drill' for civilised people) as an instrument. (again, wtf?!)

You can order this one here

Second one I've ordered:

Everlovely Lightningheart: Particles & Fields

"Particles and Fields is an amalgamation of detritus assembled as a precursor to the new album Sein Weal Talion Rue due to be released later this year. The packaging was formed from saliva, liquid polymer and dirt, each being the only one of its kind and hand sewn."

Yes, you read that one right. The packaging includes saliva and dirt - this may be the first CD I've ordered that could actually be contagious.

This one can be ordered here. It is a bit limited, only so much spit you can put on your CDs I guess. Joking aside I'm looking forward to this one, the chances to listen to this band are horribly limited.

You know you have been playing too many video games when...

...you get a receipt like this:

...and your first reaction is "Fuck yes I am!" (it's a video game thing - lets allow Wikipedia to explain the significance of the number)

Another sign that you are playing too many games could be when you start using game controllers as paper weights...

Speaking of games I've changed the banner for a brief time to reflect my current obsession with Forza MotorSport 2. If you have been anywhere near a PlayStation you may of heard of Gran Turismo: the petrolheads game of choice, Forza is Microsoft's attempt to woo this demographic.

The game has hundreds of cars modelled to a frightening level of detail - you can turn on a telemetry system and see exactly how much pressure is being put on each individual tyre as you go screaming round each and every corner. You can play it online (I haven't tried that yet, I get scared off by the whole social interaction thing), you can tune the cars to your hearts content by fiddling with things like gear ratios and what not, and if you are really patient you can create some very nice custom paint jobs.

I like to look at it as a little bit more than a game; the never ending slog to acquire as many cars as possible, the fruitless attempts at being creative with the paint jobs, all punctuated by a fair few disastrous crashes as you attempt to take corners too fast ending up with you limping home as everyone one else overtakes your shattered vehicle... If that's not one big old metaphor on life I don't know what is!

BTW, the car in the banner is my 1969 Chevrolet Camaro Z28, I think it is my favourite as it is easily the loudest car in my collection.

Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology.

Well, we have:

• One wobble board - I've got to practice using this until I can stand on it one foot without falling over. I can't stand on my right foot normally, let alone on an unsteady surface, so I'll be very pleased with myself if I can get to this stage
  
• Two orthopedic insoles - they are kind of like normal ones except with a molded bit where the arch of your foot is and two blocks under the ankle that make it feel like you are wearing high heels... not that I've ever tried such a thing *ahem*
• Three pilates bands - just three big sheets of rubber really, probably quite good fun if you are into 'that sort of thing'.
  

I'd prefer to be prescribed some sort of bionic foot or a peg leg, but these are what the doctor ordered. The idea is to strengthen my bad foot so the muscles in it stop complaining and waking me up at 4am every sodding morning!

Pop Music?

I finished The Darkness by the way. Good game, it had some clever ideas which set it aside from regular first person shooters. There were little things like that fact if you looked down you could see your character's feet and the way the loading screens were hidden by having short monologues from our boy Jackie - I liked those touches.

Then there are the other ideas like being able to eat the still beating hearts of your enemies (which did not once get boring) and the way that guns in this game took a back seat to events; in the first person shooter genre that is quite a brave thing to do - I had way too much fun sneaking up on people using The Creeping Darkness.

Plus getting Mike Patton to provide the voice of The Darkness was an inspired bit of casting.

Anyway, this is all getting away from the original intention of this post.

Let's have some music! And dare I say it: some quite nice music - which in my book verges on pop. People will disagree with me here; this song is pretty much instrumental and full of glitchy electronic effects and comes from a Berlin techno producer who goes by the name of Apparat.

But, it has an undeniable melodic quality, it is a reasonable length (just pushes over the four minute mark), and most importantly can be listened to many times over without getting dull.

Apparat - Limelight

I'd recommend getting the whole album if you feel like you are becoming maybe just a bit too metal (and not in a good way).

Romance through violent computer games

One of the many many games I'm obsessed/playing at the moment is The Darkness, a charming little number based on a (not too bad at all) comic about a mafia hit man possessed by a demonic avenging spirit called, well guess what: The Darkness.

However just because it's an incredibly violent game doesn't mean there isn't room for a bit of L'Amour! May I draw your attention to the second achievement I've acquired in the list below (ignore the last one, actually ignore the last three).

Yes! It's now official, my non existent love life is officially being catered for by my Xbox.

Oh crap...